I used to think the hardest part of faith was believing that God loved me. But over time, I came to realize that the harder part was learning how to receive that love without dividing myself in two. This is a reflection on shame, spiritual formation, and the slow grace of becoming whole.
“After returning home with a theology degree, I found myself unraveling. This is the chapter I couldn’t say out loud at church… but finally can.”
Two years after walking away from church, something quietly shifted. Through a small house church, healing friendships, and one unforgettable moment of being deeply seen, I began to rediscover a God who wasn’t distant—but present. This is the chapter where belonging begins.
In 2021, I entered a second desert—one marked by trauma, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. But this time, the journey was different. With therapy, spiritual direction, and a deeper awareness of how I was made, I began to unlearn performance and embrace rest. This chapter is about being rebuilt from the inside out.
This chapter traces the dream from its hidden roots to its present expression. Sacred Friendship isn’t a sudden idea—it’s the fruit of decades of formation, silence, and surrender. Here, I reflect on how the wilderness didn’t just shape the dream, but shaped me to live it with compassion, presence, and grace.
This chapter traces the dream from its hidden roots to its present expression. Sacred Friendship isn’t a sudden idea—it’s the fruit of decades of formation, silence, and surrender. Here, I reflect on how the wilderness didn’t just shape the dream, but shaped me to live it with compassion, presence, and grace.
This journey has formed more than a calling—it has shaped a way of being. In this final chapter, I extend an open invitation: to explore spiritual direction, to support the work unfolding in Portugal, or simply to slow down and listen to what God may be whispering in your own story.
What happens when everything you believed would bring purpose leaves you unraveling instead? This chapter begins my story in 2003, when I returned home from seminary with a theology degree—and a broken heart. It’s a story about burnout, abandonment, and the beginning of an unexpected journey through the desert.